“Sometimes love is for a moment.

Sometimes love is for a lifetime.

Sometimes a moment is a lifetime.”

— Pamela Adams


[Excerpts from Your Next Baby-Centering Corp]

Are you ready?

I believe you know in your heart if you are ready or not. Depending on the reason for your miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death, you may have to discuss timing with your physician. When you've experienced the death of a baby, whether you had a miscarriage or your baby died at birth or shortly after, your next pregnancy and your next baby can bring a lot of mixed feelings and fears.

After my stillbirth in March, 1998, I got pregnant about six months later. I felt anxious and not ready. God had other plans and I miscarried on Thanksgiving 1998. I was not grieving the loss because I was still grieving my son Daniel. I was feeling sad about the thought of not being a parent. I was convinced that I wouldn't be able to do again. I needed time for my mind and body to heal. One year is usually recommended.


When you do get pregnant and things are going well, why are you anxious? You are afraid of what you KNOW can happen. It's okay to live one-day-at-a-time now. You will be more cautious and more intense than other moms-to-be. When you are anxious there are several things you can do:

Write down or talk out your feelings.

My friends, co-workers, and physician played a big, no HUGE role in the success of my third pregnancy. Thank God for Krista who sat next to me at work! Thank God for Patty and Christine who came to my side. God bless my family, my physicians, nurses, co-workers and many others who helped me through a long nine months. I was very careful about telling my physician everything. Since I was two weeks past my due date when I lost my first baby, I wanted to have this baby early and so I did. Nikolas was born three weeks before his due date.

Be aware of your body. Reading about nutrition and exercise and using every day to take good care of the both of you is important. It is all you can do, it is your best.

Take time to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Easier said than done, I know. I did enjoy my pregnancy but not as much as the first one. I did not want to love this baby so much and than lose him/her. I chose not to get the room ready until the baby was born. I am glad I did that. I already had everything in the attic and I knew it was there. My husband enjoyed setting things up once our little one arrived. This is a personal choice and there is no wrong or right way.

Try and make each day count with your new miracle. Pregnancy is a blessing.

Think positive and think that your new pregnancy will also help in restoring your confidence and sturdy that foundation that used to be solid. It is an important time to share feelings and ask for love and understanding from your partner.

You know that you, more than many people, see the real value of life and what it means to be parents.

Cathy and Nikolas Fritea

Best wishes for a safe arrival!

Cathy and Nikolas

Shelly’s Story

Book: Tiny Hands Change the World


Another Baby?

Get the Facts


Bereavement  Groups